DISCLAIMER: This isn't intended to hurt anybody's sentiments
or provoke rebellious behaviour towards the opposite gender. This is just a
compilation of personal experiences and observations and not directed towards
any particular person. But if the shoes fit in, don't hesitate to wear them and
think if you've ever been in conditions like these. And if you find the topic
too sexist, this is not for you. Plus, if you're offended even after the
disclaimer, OKAY.
Firstly, why did I decide to name this article "The selective annoying male dominance"
Because, male dominance is what our country in mostly all about. Patriarchal society. "Selective" because, All men are NOT same. And "Annoying" because of course any kind of domination, unnecessary domination is annoying. So further in the article I'd like to elaborate what I mean by this topic.
Starting with my personal experiences and male dominance at a smaller scale. But, smaller scale does NOT make it right. So I don't know if others would agree to this or not or have experienced this or not, but I have and it disturbs the depths of my sanity. So what I've experienced/observed is, SOME men can not even bear to see a girl driving ahead of them, believe it or not. I would be driving at a faster speed maybe just because I was getting late for college. And by chance if I drove ahead of the man beside, his attitude would be all like, "Oh you wanna race? We're on!!" And there goes the bike or the car speeding ahead of me and getting lost in the distance. All I would have on my mind is , "Calm down bro, wasnt racing with you just getting late for college!" And that too the way they'd speed by would be making various patterns on the roads and driving in a zigzag manner leaving the smokes in other people's faces. Duuuuudeeee, CHILL! If a girl drove a little ahead of you, your manliness wouldn't be questioned. And this might seem like a tiny little thing not worth sharing, but its not once that it has happened to me, many a times I've experienced men speeding by maybe "racing" with all the honking and stuff announcing their victory. So my question is, what hurts your soul to see a girl being ahead of you. Its a damn road and shes maybe just getting late.
Issues like this, happen everyday and maybe we forget. But when things keep happening day after day something has to be done to stop it. Eve-teasing is one of them. When I've started with the issue of eve-teasing I'd like to share a hilarious experience. I think its kind of courageous, but funny for sure! We had our cousins at our place for a day and they'd been playing all day. Maggi was what they wanted in the evening and there was none at home. So my mom asked my cousin and my sister to go get it from the nearby shop which is at a walkable distance from our place and would take 2-5 minutes to reach. My cousin and my sister agreed and when they'd reached halfway, a man maybe in his 40's or 50's was on a bike, looking like a drunkard, made maybe some weird faces and whistled at my sister and cousin. And what my cousin did was show him a "Babaji ka thullu." And I couldn't control my laughter imagining the scene and being proud of what she did! Maybe it wasn’t a very huge step but it surely must have made the man know that the cheapness he was displaying in front of kids was of no use and he is only making a fool out of himself. These are just small small things that happen in day to day lives of every girl. But they are ignored for sure because there’s not any physical harm caused. Rapes are ignored, what’s eve teasing in front of it! All these so called small things lead to huge crimes. Little girls are being touched in the wrong ways and they don’t even realise what happened with them. What do those men think while trying to touch a girl ? What right do you have on somebody’s body ? And even if they don’t touch their stare is enough to make a girl uncomfortable.
Rape. How horny could a person get to touch an unknown woman and do all the terribly wrong things with her ? Still its always blamed on the victim and they are held guilty for provoking men to rape. What is provoking in a burkha ? A salwar kameez ? Even if its a skirt it shouldn’t be provoking. Take the control of your lust and your brain. Number of rapes happen which go unnoticed or are purposely pushed back by the police itself. We live a country where if a rape comes into a news everybody’s reaction would be “ye toh roz ka hai, kahin na kahin rape hota hi rehta hai.” And by chance if a rape is nastier enough to get attention of the people its just because people are curious for the minor details they want to know about what happened instead of thinking about a single measure to control this. Plus the government. All the ministers would act like they’re mourning on the death or survival of a rape victim after a lot of struggle. Taking an action and punishing the criminals would get you more “punya” rather than showing sadness to the public. When there’s a rape, the victim is scarred for life, for some, the reasons to live are taken away. After all its a country where the girl is told to hide her face after going through a trauma like rape.
In my opinion, changing the mindsets of SOME men is a difficult thing . Men need to know that they were not created superior. Men and women, both were born equal, they will die equal. Being the physically stronger being does not give you the right to molest. You do not have a right on any woman whose beauty or body pleases your eye. You can not get drunk, come home, take out the anger of your lost bets on your woman. SHE IS A HUMAN. WITH FEELINGS. You have no right to dominate.
We do not want men with daring and guts to be our saviours; we want men to stop raping. And the rapists, sexually harassing pests- YOU are a shame. Even the word shame would be ashamed to be associated with you. And to the girls who’ve survived after such trauma and who’ve managed to proudly lift their heads to be a part of this society- YOU are the epitome of courage. Kudos!
JAnd to the men who’ve spent all their lives respecting women and saving their dignity, you make the world a better place to live in. Wish ALL men could be like you. You leave some hope that humanity still exists. We love you. Who needs God when there are people like you sent on earth. And to all the girls out there, changing the mindset of those pests is the most difficult task and unfortunately the only solution to all our problems. But till the change in mindset happens, we could be a little careful with ourselves. I know most of the girls wouldn’t agree to this, but personal opinion. Precaution is always better than cure. You can dress up the way you like where you know you’ll be safe from dirty stares. You can dress up the way you like where you know the people around would respect you as a human and your choices. Rape or molestation has no excuse. But our society has. Its always blamed on the girls dressing. Till the society changes, we could always be a little careful. Doesn’t hurt to take a little care of yourself and be safe from criminals. Dressing up in your choice of clothes and going to a place where you know you’d be welcomed by eve teasers and molesters is like going to the edge of a well yourself and just waiting for a little jerk to push you in. Be careful. You only can take care of yourself. Be around respectful, dignified people and enjoy every right of yours knowing you are in a safe environment. Safety first, always.
Firstly, why did I decide to name this article "The selective annoying male dominance"
Because, male dominance is what our country in mostly all about. Patriarchal society. "Selective" because, All men are NOT same. And "Annoying" because of course any kind of domination, unnecessary domination is annoying. So further in the article I'd like to elaborate what I mean by this topic.
Starting with my personal experiences and male dominance at a smaller scale. But, smaller scale does NOT make it right. So I don't know if others would agree to this or not or have experienced this or not, but I have and it disturbs the depths of my sanity. So what I've experienced/observed is, SOME men can not even bear to see a girl driving ahead of them, believe it or not. I would be driving at a faster speed maybe just because I was getting late for college. And by chance if I drove ahead of the man beside, his attitude would be all like, "Oh you wanna race? We're on!!" And there goes the bike or the car speeding ahead of me and getting lost in the distance. All I would have on my mind is , "Calm down bro, wasnt racing with you just getting late for college!" And that too the way they'd speed by would be making various patterns on the roads and driving in a zigzag manner leaving the smokes in other people's faces. Duuuuudeeee, CHILL! If a girl drove a little ahead of you, your manliness wouldn't be questioned. And this might seem like a tiny little thing not worth sharing, but its not once that it has happened to me, many a times I've experienced men speeding by maybe "racing" with all the honking and stuff announcing their victory. So my question is, what hurts your soul to see a girl being ahead of you. Its a damn road and shes maybe just getting late.
Issues like this, happen everyday and maybe we forget. But when things keep happening day after day something has to be done to stop it. Eve-teasing is one of them. When I've started with the issue of eve-teasing I'd like to share a hilarious experience. I think its kind of courageous, but funny for sure! We had our cousins at our place for a day and they'd been playing all day. Maggi was what they wanted in the evening and there was none at home. So my mom asked my cousin and my sister to go get it from the nearby shop which is at a walkable distance from our place and would take 2-5 minutes to reach. My cousin and my sister agreed and when they'd reached halfway, a man maybe in his 40's or 50's was on a bike, looking like a drunkard, made maybe some weird faces and whistled at my sister and cousin. And what my cousin did was show him a "Babaji ka thullu." And I couldn't control my laughter imagining the scene and being proud of what she did! Maybe it wasn’t a very huge step but it surely must have made the man know that the cheapness he was displaying in front of kids was of no use and he is only making a fool out of himself. These are just small small things that happen in day to day lives of every girl. But they are ignored for sure because there’s not any physical harm caused. Rapes are ignored, what’s eve teasing in front of it! All these so called small things lead to huge crimes. Little girls are being touched in the wrong ways and they don’t even realise what happened with them. What do those men think while trying to touch a girl ? What right do you have on somebody’s body ? And even if they don’t touch their stare is enough to make a girl uncomfortable.
Rape. How horny could a person get to touch an unknown woman and do all the terribly wrong things with her ? Still its always blamed on the victim and they are held guilty for provoking men to rape. What is provoking in a burkha ? A salwar kameez ? Even if its a skirt it shouldn’t be provoking. Take the control of your lust and your brain. Number of rapes happen which go unnoticed or are purposely pushed back by the police itself. We live a country where if a rape comes into a news everybody’s reaction would be “ye toh roz ka hai, kahin na kahin rape hota hi rehta hai.” And by chance if a rape is nastier enough to get attention of the people its just because people are curious for the minor details they want to know about what happened instead of thinking about a single measure to control this. Plus the government. All the ministers would act like they’re mourning on the death or survival of a rape victim after a lot of struggle. Taking an action and punishing the criminals would get you more “punya” rather than showing sadness to the public. When there’s a rape, the victim is scarred for life, for some, the reasons to live are taken away. After all its a country where the girl is told to hide her face after going through a trauma like rape.
In my opinion, changing the mindsets of SOME men is a difficult thing . Men need to know that they were not created superior. Men and women, both were born equal, they will die equal. Being the physically stronger being does not give you the right to molest. You do not have a right on any woman whose beauty or body pleases your eye. You can not get drunk, come home, take out the anger of your lost bets on your woman. SHE IS A HUMAN. WITH FEELINGS. You have no right to dominate.
We do not want men with daring and guts to be our saviours; we want men to stop raping. And the rapists, sexually harassing pests- YOU are a shame. Even the word shame would be ashamed to be associated with you. And to the girls who’ve survived after such trauma and who’ve managed to proudly lift their heads to be a part of this society- YOU are the epitome of courage. Kudos!
JAnd to the men who’ve spent all their lives respecting women and saving their dignity, you make the world a better place to live in. Wish ALL men could be like you. You leave some hope that humanity still exists. We love you. Who needs God when there are people like you sent on earth. And to all the girls out there, changing the mindset of those pests is the most difficult task and unfortunately the only solution to all our problems. But till the change in mindset happens, we could be a little careful with ourselves. I know most of the girls wouldn’t agree to this, but personal opinion. Precaution is always better than cure. You can dress up the way you like where you know you’ll be safe from dirty stares. You can dress up the way you like where you know the people around would respect you as a human and your choices. Rape or molestation has no excuse. But our society has. Its always blamed on the girls dressing. Till the society changes, we could always be a little careful. Doesn’t hurt to take a little care of yourself and be safe from criminals. Dressing up in your choice of clothes and going to a place where you know you’d be welcomed by eve teasers and molesters is like going to the edge of a well yourself and just waiting for a little jerk to push you in. Be careful. You only can take care of yourself. Be around respectful, dignified people and enjoy every right of yours knowing you are in a safe environment. Safety first, always.
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