The Rebuttal

Exhaustion.

Its not fun being mediocre.
In your head you know you're reaching there.
But at a slower pace.
Slower than others.
You cerebrate and the insomnia is wearying.
You judge yourself.
Judge real hard.
You are clueless.
And you don't know if people care for you or pity you.
It's exhausting to keep answering.
To keep faking.
Its tiring trying to keep pace with others.
It's shattering to have expected much more out of yourself
And receive so less.
In that very moment, all the confidence seems to diminish
You don't want to victimize yourself
And you can't help but fall prey to it.
You have no other way out.
You want to get back up.
But with every passing night the broken pieces flash back.
The ones you joined.
Or faked to join.
Smiles by the day.
And tears by the night.
Unsure life plans and a frightened gut.
It's exhausting.



Impulsion

Mediocrity is ubiquitous.
You're not the only one.
Acknowledge your falls and find reasons to them.
Get the hell up.
The foreign care (sympathy?) lasts a while.
All you've got is you.
Be concerned. Very concerned about yourself.
It's not a forced life.
Own your decisions.
Face your decisions.
However wrong they are.
Be done with them.
Be damned if you're not trying hard enough.
Letting yourself down is the last thing you'd want.
No one's to blame except yourself.
No one's available to rely on except yourself.
Learn to live with your minor flaws.
Nobody is perfect.
And you are not Nobody.